The Top 6 List
By Phillip Barnhard
Steroid parties. Congressional hearings. Cock-fighting escapades. Major League Baseball heated up before the first pitch was even thrown. This April, the Top 6 List throws you a few balls and strikes to look out for this baseball season.
6. The Name Game
When broadcasters mention Joba Chamberlain, Coco Crisp or Milton Bradley, they aren’t referring to your favorite Star Wars’ crime lord, chocolatey cereal or board game manufacturer. These are actual players on actual MLB teams, not to mention prime targets for over-boozed hecklers. Hardly a road trip passes where Joba (pronounced Jabba, as in the Hutt) – a New York Yankees reliever – doesn’t receive the obligatory “where’s Han Solo and Princess Leia?” or “go back to Tatooine” jeers. Just make sure you cover the little one’s ears when Chicago Cubs outfielder Kosuke Fukudome comes to the plate.
5. The Field formerly known as Wrigley?
Wrigley Field, home of the Chicago Cubs, is one of the few historic American stadiums that remain today. Its ivy walls and nostalgic ambiance make Wrigley a Mecca for baseball purists. Sadly, Cubs owner Sam Zell wants to sell the stadium’s naming rights to the highest bidder at a price and time to be determined. So business owners, shell out enough dough, and you can turn a baseball monument into Lysol Toilet Bowl Cleaner Field or RateMyMullet.com Stadium.
4. No Barry. No Roger. No Problem.
While Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens were injecting life into America’s pastime, they also were allegedly injecting performance-enhancing drugs into their posteriors in their spare time. The evidence continues to stack up against their countless denials. They are baseball icons turned American bad boys, and the Feds are building strong cases against the players that might warrant jail time. With the season underway, baseball media and fans have since turned their attention back toward the brighter sides of baseball – pennant races, pitching duels, rally caps and seventh-inning stretches. And for Bonds and Clemens, the once shoo-in hall-of-famers’ off-the-field antics now have more of an impact on baseball than the hallowed records they once destroyed.
3. Set Expectations to “High”
April holds a lot of promise for MLB fans. With a new season underway, a Pittsburgh Pirates’ loyalist can be really optimistic about his or her team’s chance of making the playoffs, even though the Pirates had losing records the last 15 seasons. Also, regular-season records are never safe. In fact, Chicago White Sox designated hitter Jim Thome’s two home runs on Opening Day have him on pace to hit 324 home runs this season, should he remain healthy. There are a lot of “what-ifs” out there in April, so live vicariously through the promise of a bright season this month. Save your “Texas Rangers’ pitching woes” depression for May.
2. Youth Movement
A-Rod. Big Papí. Ichiro. While these nicknames still lead the headlines and highlight reels, they’ll need to make room for a new crop of young baseball prospects. The Red Sox’s Dustin Pedroia and Jacoby Ellsbury – entering their sophomore seasons – were a large part of Boston’s 2007 playoff success, which led to the club’s second world championship in four seasons. Arizona outfielder Justin Upton – the first overall draft pick in 2005 – streamlined his way through the minors and helped the struggling Diamondbacks make a playoff run at the tender age of 19. These three and many other young twenty-somethings have been charged with leading the new “steroid-free” baseball era and, so far, they’ve given baseball fans plenty to be excited about.
1. Don’t Dodge the Draft
This year, declare yourself eligible for the 2008 MLB Draft. In all seriousness, you have a pretty good shot of being selected. The MLB draft holds more than 50 rounds with more than 1,500 high school, college and foreign baseball players selected annually. The NBA drafts only 60 players. With so many picks, you’ve got to like your odds …
Announcer: With the 1,478th pick in the 2008 MLB draft, the Florida Marlins select … Gertrude Worthington from the Pleasant Oaks Retirement Community softball team in Boca Raton, Florida.
Sports Analyst: This is a tremendous selection by the Marlins. Gertie bats cleanup for the Pleasant Oaks Flapper Girls, and the 78-year-old shortstop’s new bifocals really helped improve her focus at the plate last season. Not to mention that, on a full battery charge, she can really motor around the bases … in her Rascal scooter. Great selection by Florida!
E-mail the author: Phillip Barnhard
