A Eulogy for the Usual, Boring Press Release.
By Stephanie Berlin

Oh standard, trite, old-school press release, we hardly knew you. You were so helpful when it came to garnering coverage. Remember that time a business sent out a press release and the reporter called that same afternoon? The story ended up on the front page.

Those were the days.

If only you had included timely news. If only you had not been laden down with meaningless jargon. If only you had contained news in the first paragraph ... you might still be with us.

Upon your passing, I must remember what a wise man told me: "You have to listen to the editors out there. They get a lot of material across their desks each day. If you have to read a page before you get to the meat of the subject, that's too much. Very few newspapers are going to print your story exactly. The release is just to pique their curiosity." That was from my mentor, Mark O'Brien, a former media communications representative for Barney & Smith.

I know that you would want us to learn from your death, ordinary, lackluster press release. I know you would want those looking for coverage to seize this opportunity. After all, most editors at least skim releases to find out if there is any newsworthy information contained within. If only news releases contained actual news. Partnerships, new product releases, milestones. Not a mention of something that happened two years ago. Not a rehash or a product that everyone has already. Perhaps most importantly, if future news releases contain said information in the top paragraph, not all will be lost.

And maybe if you had taken more initiative to grace the desks of media appropriate for your specific news item, you might've gotten much more out of life. Just think: what if a company that sells video cameras showed its new product in a video release? Imagine the possibilities. Journalists would have a better understanding of the news at hand and even have pre-recorded footage to show in their broadcasts. Or what if a computer technology company were to podcast its news release? Not only would it be seen as an innovator, but it would reach a whole new audience.

Oh boring press release, you have taught us so much! We have learned so much from your mistakes; what would we have done without you? We'd probably send out more jargon-filled, long, tiresome, non-newsworthy releases. You have not died in vain. Thanks to you, we will never make these mistakes again. Future generations of more innovative, interesting, newsworthy press releases will not end up as crumpled balls at the bottom of the trashcan as you did; they will spring forth from the editor's desk to the pages of newspapers, magazines and broadcasts.

We miss you conventional press release, but we thank you for your lessons. Rest in peace. Rest knowing that you have made the world a better place.

E-mail the author: Stephanie Berlin

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